Today’s scripture: Hebrews 12:10-11 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Lynnette Pullen):
Punishing my children has always been a little hard for me. I always feared being too hard on them because I grew up in an unhealthy condemnatory household. Not that I let them get away with everything, but sometimes I used to dole out a penalty and then end up retracting or lessening it later because I couldn’t stand to watch them struggle. I don’t like for them to be in pain, particularly when they are already hurting from something else. For example, I noticed I gave out lighter punishments if they were sick or had a bad day at school. Kids are very astute, and they quickly realize and exploit their parents’ faults. I noticed that one of my kids, in particular, became very good at apologizing and “being good” in order to lighten the sentence. I fell for it every time, until I noticed that my kids were not learning lessons from their mistakes. They were still doing the same wrong things and, now, they didn’t just hope for a lighter punishment, they expected it. They were becoming entitled. In my effort to avoid causing pain, I avoided true discipline, and what rotten fruit that was yielding. It was at that point, on my parenting journey, that I knew I needed to love them more than I feared that I might become my parents. Discipline is different than punishment. Discipline involves use of punishment; and it is often unpleasant, but its purpose is to teach. It helps us to value and understand righteousness, and it shows us how to gauge how far off the mark we are. It’s how we learn best. I have grown more from my corrected failures than I ever have with any flawless victory.
When God disciplines us, it can be painful. But God loves us and is willing to risk being perceived as cruel and uncaring so that we may learn soul-saving lessons. God sees you struggling under the weight of your punishment, but don’t doubt for one minute that God doesn’t care. I believe God is concerned with us learning life-altering lessons and bearing good healthy fruit more than our discomfort. But it wasn’t until I became that kind of parent that I understood more clearly the love that God must allow for this process to happen. In going through times of godly discipline, it’s okay to fall short. You are not, and will never be, perfect. Just be brave enough to admit the mistake. Acknowledging a wrong doing is half the battle. Second, accept and learn from the punishment. It doesn’t at all mean you are “bad,” but instead that you are loved. Let the discipline bear good fruit in you, like honesty, self-control, and integrity. Try not to be discouraged or angry with God as pain often precedes progress.
Prayer for the day: Thank you, God, for disciplining, guiding, teaching, and showing us the way. Thank you for loving us enough to allow the pain and struggle of discipline to yield ripe righteous fruit in us. Help us to trust you more as we work through the rough moments in life. Thank you for your grace. Amen.
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