Today’s scripture: Matthew 5:31-32 (ESV-text and audio) (KJV) (The Message) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Keith Phillips):
This section of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount is sometimes called the Six Antitheses. Six times Jesus uses the formula: “You have heard that it was said, . . . But I say to you, . . .” The first two were related to anger and lust; this one to divorce. In each case Jesus reminds us that it’s the spirit of the Law which is so much more important than the letter of the Law.
Now, as one who was raised a legalist (and it is so hard to break out of that mold; it might be said, “Once a legalist, always a legalist,” except by the grace of God), I was tempted to head straight for another saying of Jesus about divorce: “It was because you were so hard-hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce . . .” (Matthew 19:8a). Well, duh, the Law was given to us, for our benefit, precisely because we are hard-hearted sinners. Before the Fall in the Garden of Eden, the Law was unnecessary. We, who no longer live under the Law, continue to need the guidance that the spirit of the Law provides.
So, what’s going on with this saying of Jesus about divorce? First, as a foundation, just in case we might forget, Jesus’ love for adulterers and the rest of us sinners is unconditional, period. As in the first two Antitheses, anger and lust, divorce is forgivable.
Second, the committed relationship into which two persons enter is a serious thing. Too many divorces (separations, for those of us who can’t yet legally marry) occur because we did not marry the right person to begin with. Too many enter into a committed relationship for the silliest of reasons: infatuation, sex, security, etc. Let me say, from one who knows, no relationship is better than a bad relationship. We would be much wiser to take our time finding the right mate, depending on the Lord’s direction a little more than our hormones or our desire for security.
Third, there are not-so-visible consequences to divorce. People all around the couple, as well as the couple themselves, are hurt, and the wounds heal slowly. But, that being said, I believe that the spirit of the Law regarding divorce is that we may be redeemed from abusive, negligent, uncaring, and/or violent relationships. It is not the will of God that we endure, indefinitely, suffering caused by a partner unwilling to make the changes required for positive growth together in a committed relationship.
Romans 12:18 reminds me, “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Unfortunately, I cannot change others, even a spouse. Fortunately, God provides a redemptive way out of a mess most likely of our own making: divorce, which, if we’re wise enough to learn, can empower us to get a fresh start, to become renewed children of God.
Thought for the day: Neither a committed relationship nor a divorce is to be entered into lightly. Both were given by God; and each can, with God’s grace, transform us.
We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the guidelines on the How to Pray page.