Today’s scripture: Psalm 119:1-16 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Lynnette Pullen-Bradford):
Dear God,
Thank you so much for your rules. I never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth. Truth is, I don’t like rules. I know this is something I never really said to you, but I have struggled with this concept. As a child, they never really seemed to help as much as they hurt. I would try to follow them, but often there was a conflict in my mind. If rules were meant to help, why does it hurt when I follow them? Rules like, “What goes on in this house stays in this house,” but what if something goes on that is not good, and someone needs to know? You see my dilemma. But your rules are so different. They are not like earthly rules at all. Your rules give me hope, guidance, protection, and rest. I admit that at first I was reluctant to even read the laws and commandments in the Bible, particularly when I was told that there were hundreds of them; but the more I got to know you, the more I wanted to follow you. Years later, I now find myself feverishly searching out your commandments and holding them close to my heart.
I remember a time at work, my caseload had been getting a little too much for me to handle. While I am grateful to have a job, the stress was overwhelming. I try to base my work ethic on Colossians 3:23 (“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord and not human masters”) and Ephesians 6:7 (“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people”). But then that old familiar conflict started to surface in my heart. “Why does keeping this commandment cause me harm?” I mean I was working so hard and trying to do the best that I could, but it was exhausting. I was emotionally and mentally drained every day. I had little time to relax and enjoy my home and family. By the time I recharged I was back to work again. This went on for months, maybe even years. When I finally came to you with my concerns, you laid Psalm 23 on my heart. You reminded me that you are my provider and that you would not find it acceptable or even admirable for me to work at this rate and pace, causing harm to my body and mind and neglecting my family. Sure, work sometimes requires some extra effort but this was not that. This was me following human commandments instead of your commandments, seeking approval and provision from people instead of you. After all, if you were my supervisor, you would make sure I got off work on time, I would be able to take my full lunch break, and you would more than compensate me for my work. That is what working for you looks like. It’s not only doing my job well and to the best of my ability, but it is learning to balance work and rest. Taking time to replenish myself and to spend time with my family.
Thank you for helping me to understand the difference between having a servant versus a slave mindset. You are so awesome. Knowing this has helped me to approach my job differently. Now, I set clear boundaries. I don’t feel guilty for honoring family time, and I make sure to take care of myself. The ironic thing is, I seem to be just as productive, and I do not feel nearly as stressed. Don’t get me wrong; I know I’m a work in progress, but I see a change. The more I truly understand and cling to your commandments the better I become. So I just wanted to write this letter and say, “Thank you.”
Love,
Lynnette
Thought for the day: P.S.: Again, thank you, Lord, so much for your rules.
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