Today’s scripture: Matthew 7:16, Luke 6:43-49 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Lynnette Pullen):
I enjoy listening to preaching on the radio or TV. That is a statement I would have never made several years ago. I have grown to appreciate listening to teachings on scripture and biblical principles. I have to admit that there are definitely some evangelists whom I stay away from. You know, the ones that are always preaching hell fire and damnation or sending messages of “hate” hidden under the auspices of sound doctrine. I most definitely have some favorites, too, though. I tend to look for their books and buy their CDs to listen to in the car. Recently, I heard one of my favorites angrily hint at the sin of homosexuality and basically state that it is the path to hell. I was really surprised and a little hurt. This person has never mentioned controversial topics in their sermons before (although honestly I was pretty sure they were against same-sex relationships anyway). I am not sure why it bothered me, but it did. I have a lot of respect and admiration for this particular preacher and the brief, yet powerful, statements seemed to make a heavy impact on me. Over the next few days I started to re-examine my own belief in same-sex marriage. I started to question myself all over again thinking, “What if I am wrong?” and “What if I am going against God’s will?” and “Am I leading myself and my family down the wrong path?” This was troubling. I thought I had made peace with this years ago. Let me rewind a little bit.
My partner and I have been together for five years. Our anniversary is coming up soon, and during my quiet time I was reflecting on our progress and growth. Several years before I met my partner, I left a very unhealthy marriage. At the end of that relationship, I was a broken, hurt, and distrusting person. I’d jumped from an abusive childhood into a tumultuous and unstable relationship with my now ex-husband. As the old saying goes, “I went from the frying pan to the skillet.” Believe me when I say I was burned pretty bad. I started becoming a bit of a recluse and began to question if love really even existed. When I met my partner, I was immediately drawn to her. But it took a while for me to realize that it was more than a good friendship. When I finally figured out I was in love with her, I totally freaked! I was sure I was going straight to hell! Oh, but God was so gentle with me. I began to read and research things for myself. I remember asking God, “If this is so wrong, why do so many good things come from it?” You see, she opened my heart again. She helped me to live life again and not be so afraid to love. I always tell her that I was an expert at surviving, but she taught me how to thrive. She taught me how to live my life in such a way that I am always learning, growing, and loving despite what obstacles may come. She is always so gentle, patient, and kind to me, even when I am not that way with her. The difference between her and my ex-husband is greater than that of night and day.
So, fast forward to today. As I question the validity and sanctity of this relationship to God, I felt a quiet message settle in my heart. “What kind of fruit does it bear?” During our five years together, I have healed wounds that have existed in my soul for 20 years. I have uncovered gifts and talents I never knew I had. I learned what it is to be loved unconditionally. I have begun to research and learn more from the Bible than I have ever imagined I would want and still want more. I have learned to forgive and receive forgiveness. My relationship with God has grown and continues to grow. It didn’t take long for me to come to my senses. Silly me for ever questioning whether or not God would approve of this relationship when God is the one who blessed me with her in the first place.
I know some scholars believe the scripture strictly prohibits same-sex marriage, but it doesn’t take a scholar to see the blessings of the Lord. I will admit that sometimes we can get mixed messages and become unsure. That will happen. Whenever you find yourself in that place, ask yourself, “What kind of fruit does it bear?” In relationships (and in life in general), dealing with something complicated or easy is not an indicator of whether or not it is within God’s will for you. Look at the fruit it bears. In other words, what has it produced in your life and in the lives around you? Does it generate goodness, mercy, kindness, joy, and love? Or does it create jealousy, pain, envy, deceit, and hate? Examining the fruit has become one of my litmus tests for discerning God’s will for me.
Prayer for the day: Thank you, God, for the gift of love, the greatest of all gifts known to humankind. Sometimes, we want to love and to be loved so much that we step outside of your will for our lives. Other times, we get caught in listening to what others say and begin to question the path you have placed us on. Help us to clearly hear your direction and give us the courage either to stand tall for what we believe in or to walk away from something that is not producing good fruit in our lives. Amen
We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.