Today’s scripture: 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (David Zier):
As I read this passage, it made me think of myself in my current situation. I love serving as a Pastor at LifeJourney Church. Going back to my previous profession was not something I thought I would ever do. I really don’t have the passion to do it, but my current medical situation has pushed the financial need to seek a part time or full time job, and I can no longer donate my time to the church. I love serving with my husband, Jeff, on staff at the church, but life happens and we do what is necessary.
At first I was in denial, but I realized something had to be done. When I spoke to my spiritual director over the last several months, I pondered what God was trying to tell me in all of this. Then I had one of those ah-ha moments. It is so easy to look to God and want a reason for why things happen the way they do. But instead of getting bogged down in the why, I realized that it just is, so what am I going to do about it? Perhaps my response and reaction and how I own this is just as important, if not more so, than trying to figure out why this is happening. I decided this is what it is, so let’s pour myself into a job search blitz.
The first time I sent out resumes late one night at 10 p.m., I received two calls and an email the next morning. Interviews were set up for the next day, and I received two job offers on the spot. Being out of my profession for five years, I never expected that kind of response. I have since applied to more jobs, full and part time. I started a permanent part-time position at FEDEX to assess if part time would be adequate. They do have good benefits. I also applied to jobs a few hours away from Indianapolis because the full time jobs in my profession will involve lots of travel. If I can get a job at a company a driving distance away with little or no travel, that might be better than being here and on the road somewhere different each week. I will need to make a final decision and sign an offer letter next week. By the time this Be Still runs, this will be in the past and my decision will be made.
What does this have to do with today’s passage? In one of my meetings with my spiritual director, I realized I needed to let go of my constant analysis of why or, perhaps, of figuring out which position would be the best one; and then just rest in the power of Holy Spirit. When I was speaking with my spiritual director, saying things out loud and hearing myself, it was different than when I talk out loud during prayer to God. I am responding to questions and not just praying and talking about what is on my mind. I need to focus on the Holy Spirit’s direction in the midst of the direction session. As I heard myself respond and speak things, it was not as if I did not know them, but the reality comes to the forefront and I was seeing and hearing more clearly. This speaks as to why I am moved to be a spiritual director and completed a two-year spiritual direction internship in 2012.
Allowing my faith to rely on the power of God, and not on my constant analysis, is so freeing. The paralysis of analysis takes away the freedom God gives us in love and mercy.
Prayer for the day: God, help me to live in your freedom more willingly, even if my personality tends to hold on to analysis, or anything else that gets in the way, that causes me paralysis.
We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.