Today’s scripture: Isaiah 35:1-10 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Lynnette Pullen-Bradford):
A while ago, I had breakfast with a friend. We were just chatting about our daily lives when, out of the blue, she grew pretty angry with me. She, quite unexpectedly, brought up a conversation that we had several years ago (about which I had no idea she was upset). She was almost instantly irate and emotionally aggressive. She pointed her finger in my face and spouted accusations which were totally foreign to me. I frantically tried to respond and assure her that there had to be a misunderstanding, but her volume only rose. It soon drew the attention of neighboring diners. After a while, I just sat there in quiet humiliation and sheer disbelief, and let her rant. At the end, I felt like an ant must feel when it’s stepped on and then ground into the pavement, out of spite.
I felt myself withdrawing emotionally and even physically. I fought not to cry, yell or run out of the restaurant. Her outburst had taken me by complete surprise. I slid seamlessly back to my childhood, where I lived with a volatile stepfather, who was prone to burst into surprise fits of rage on a whim. When she’d said her piece, she went on as though nothing had happened. I remained robotically present, at best. Upon returning home, I was still unsettled and sought the solace of my wife. That night, I had nightmares, reliving traumatic events of my childhood over and over, waking up clothed in sweat. The incident had taken its toll on me.
The title of my assigned verse in the NIV is: “The Joy of the Redeemed”. I like that…a lot. A synonym for the word redeemed is “liberated”. The Joy of the Liberated. I long for the day when I am liberated from the bondage and trauma of my past. I wait with fervent anticipation for the moment when I no longer respond with reflexive fear, followed by rippling pain filled memories. I can’t imagine how light I will feel when I am no longer shackled by things of the past. While it’s true that I am getting better all the time, this incident was an unwelcome reminder of how far I have left to go. Yes, while my “friend’s” behavior was inappropriate and may very well have been hurtful to most people, it still had more of an impact on me than I wanted it to. It was a reminder that there is still significant brokenness in me.
But, Isaiah 35 feels like biblical mnemonic designed to help us remember that no matter how deep the pain or extensive the trauma, there will be a day when we all will be made new. My scars, hers and yours will be removed, and we will be restored, liberated. We can love like we’ve never been hurt, trust like we’ve never been betrayed and rest in unquestionable safety. We will be whole and complete. So don’t be discouraged if you are like me and catch yourself still trying to undo the hurts of the past, even years later. Know that you are not alone, and keep pressing toward the mark. Keep in mind that this is only temporary, but our wholeness, once restored, is eternal.
Prayer for the day: God, thank you for the beautiful reminders that Your Word provides. Reminders that we will be made whole and that our brokenness, no matter the extent, will be more than healed and we will be made whole. Help us to get through the tough moments in life, where pain and fear seem to get the best of us. Help us to be a bit gentler with each other in words and in action. In Jesus’ name we pray, AMEN.
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