Today’s scripture: Proverbs 15:1-4 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Ciémone Easter-Rose):
Have you ever said something to someone that you later regretted? Perhaps it was a harsh word in anger, or even just a negative tone overlaying your message. Maybe you spoke with malice and intent to be hurtful in the moment, but later realized you crossed the line. Or, it could be that you were simply careless or thoughtless in your speech and failed to recognize the potential impact it could have on others. Me–I’ve done every combination of the above. I can honestly say though that no matter how “deserving” harsh words may seem at times, in my experience, they have done nothing to peaceably resolve an issue with another person.
Recently, I was put to the test with regard to my choices in the handling of my words. The situation involved a co-worker who I barely knew and had limited interactions with. She was having an issue with her computer and as a result had been utilizing mine. I was fine with it initially, as I was a new employee and was out of my office a lot for training purposes. But after a couple of weeks, I started noticing a few things that really started to grate on me. Firstly, I had by that time began to actively use my office and workstation for actual work, and I found out that she couldn’t even complete any work tasks on my computer either and had simply been surfing the internet. Secondly, I began to notice that this coworker was regularly eating food at my desk and was leaving crumbs on my desk and floor. And finally, in spite of my increased use of my own office, this coworker continuously failed to ask permission to utilize my workstation. Between the mess and the work interruption that she created, this was the last straw for me.
This situation very nearly caused me to deliver some harsh words to this person. But when I imagined doing so, it was proverbs 15:1 that came to mind. I quickly realized that such a response would likely only upset my coworker, and I would only feel worse for it in the end. So, I considered various ways of addressing her, and what the possible reactions and implications would be. I decided that venting my anger towards her would be unproductive and would just make me look petty and mean. I wanted to say something that would both resolve my issue and maintain my desire to work in an atmosphere free of hostility, and I understood that how I proceeded could greatly impact the outcome here.
So, the next time she was at work, I stopped by her office and began by asking how she was doing. Then I asked her how her computer issues were going. I also offered some suggestions, such as utilization of the empty office two doors down from her, and contacting IT support for assistance so that she could get her needs better met. I even offered her my own assistance if needed. Somewhere in the midst of that I also stated to her that I did not mind her using my computer if I wasn’t using it, if I was out of the office entirely, and if she refrained from eating and/or leaving crumbs on my desk, as I was very particular about that. I said all of this to her in as kind and gentle of a tone that I could muster and she seemed to receive it all well. I also tried to empathize with her technology issues while keeping my criticisms to myself. As a result, I now have a crumb-free desk, nobody uses my workstation in a way that inconveniences me, and my work environment remains peaceful for everyone.
Prayer for the day: Lord help me to watch my words and examine them closely before they leave my mouth. Let my words be laced with kindness and free of malice. May they be used to uplift others instead of tear them down. Amen.
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