Today’s scripture: John 18:1-12 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Robin Herman):
I first started going to New York City when I was 18. I’d go every couple of summers when I could afford it. I love New York, there’s just no other place like it that I’ve found. You can be anonymous in a sea of people and noise. Driving through the city is a sport and not for the faint of heart. Every neighborhood is a different culture. You can be safe or in peril in one wrong or right turn.
I have a picture of myself standing on the south tower, with the north tower in the background. It’s dated July 2001. Two months later, the towers would be heaps of rubble. This week, I can’t get that day out of my mind — the devastation, the heroes, the villains.
I went back to NYC again the next summer. There was just a big hole in the ground. Posters and signs were still up everywhere. The surrounding buildings had construction material around them from parts of the walls that were damaged. Memorials were starting to go up, put there by people who had finally started to give up on ever finding their loved one. The somber mood was palpable. A city that once could swallow you up in a split second was still clearly grieving.
We tried to enjoy the visit to the city. But every time I came up from the subway, I would look to see where I was, and I would look for the towers because that would usually help me get my bearings. When I didn’t see them, my stomach turned. It’s like when you forget for just a second that someone died and then you remember.
In today’s reading, two lines stand out for me:
This was to fulfill the word that he had spoken, “I did not lose a single one of those whom you gave me.” and
Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword back into its sheath; Am I not to drink from the cup that the Father has given me?”
Watching them take Jesus away must’ve left the disciples with that hollow sickening feeling in their stomach, much like the feeling we had watching the towers fall, live on TV that morning. The questions we asked God that night were the same questions they asked God so many years ago.
I started thinking about tragedies, and that each generation has its day with God. Something will happen that will shake you down to your soul. For some it’s a flood, a fire, maybe a death.
I was a little jealous, they got Jesus in the flesh. They got the real hero and the real moment while we have had just 2,000 years of silence.
My two thoughts weren’t meshing. Yes, they had Jesus in the flesh, but we have Jesus too, in the spirit. Jesus was there that day — in New York, in Washington, and in the plane over Pennsylvania. As of today, I’m still one of the ones that was left behind. I wonder what’s in God’s cup for me?
Thought for the day: Why have I been “left behind?” What’s in my cup?
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