Today’s scripture: Hebrews 11: 23-28 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Lynnette Pullen):
I don’t have much faith. There, I said it. I mean, I believe in God. I believe God can do all things and is the creator of all that we know. That’s not the issue. I am referring to my ability to have peace and to trust in God during times of trouble. People say all the time, “Lean on your faith,” and “Trust in God.” My question is: What does “trusting in God” look like in everyday life? How do I know that I won’t fall or that bad things won’t happen? Some people just have a natural peace about them and seem not to worry about things. Not me. I worry about everything: the kids, the car, my job, the weather, . . . everything! I plan for the worst and then watch for signs that it’s coming. I’m sure that has a lot to do with living in an abusive and unhealthy environment for years. While having a heightened sense of impending danger may have been a good coping skill in a hostile environment, it doesn’t work so well in healthy, safe, and normal environments. The stress and strain of worry has taken its toll on me. It’s starting to impact my health and threatens my mental and physical well-being. I have been getting to know God for some time now. By this point, I know I should be able to trust God, so it’s a little embarrassing to admit that there are still parts of me that don’t. But, we can’t really grow until we expose these things, no matter how ugly or shameful.
Recently, I have been sensing that God wants me to develop my faith and trust. But, I wasn’t really sure how to do that. You can probably guess what happened next. I’ve heard it said that if you pray for peace, you get chaos so that you can develop peace. If you pray for self-control, temptation will pay you a visit. If you pray for faith, you know what happens? Trials and tribulation come. Oh boy, did they come! But I had planned for times such as these, remember? However, interestingly enough, all of my plans and backup plans fell through. So I made my stand. I am a better person than I was in the past. I have grown so much and I know I can try to lean on God, even if it’s just a little more today than it was yesterday. Don’t despise small beginnings (Zechariah 4:10). But the question still remained: what does trusting in God look like in everyday life? How do I live that out?
I won’t pretend to have all the answers, but I do have a suggestion. I seem to be problem oriented. I see a problem and worry about it until it is resolved, then I jump to the next problem and start the process over again. You see, I have a short spiritual memory sometimes. One day I credit God for all the blessings I see and receive, then the next day I wonder how I will get through something. So I started a journal in which I record all the times that God clearly jumped in to help me in an attempt to focus on my blessings. I record the date, the problem, and the blessing. For example, my car broke down and it cost more money than I had to fix it. God sent an honest mechanic, a really nice tow truck guy, a family member that got discounts on rentals, and some financial backing from my dad to help me through. Although I have had many trials as of late, it only took a few days of recording my blessing to help me realize something: God is always there with me. I never noticed how much God was intervening in my everyday life. From parking spaces to parenting, God was guiding me and protecting me the whole way. I realized, God does not promise that I won’t fall or maybe even get hurt. But what is promised is that God will never leave me nor forsake me. We still have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but God is right there with us (Psalm 23). I was so focused on the problem that worry prevented me from seeing God’s presence. When I intentionally looked, I found that God was right there, waiting patiently for me to open my heart. It reminds me of one my favorite lines from the movie, The Wiz, where Miss One (the good witch) says to Dorothy, “Count your blessings, cut your losses, and follow the yellow brick road.” In other words, count your blessings, not your troubles, and it will keep you on the path of learning to grow your faith. It’s alright if your faith is small; so is a mustard seed and with that you can move mountains (Matthew 17:20).
I’m not ready to say that I totally trust God with everything, if I can be radically honest. But when I begin to worry, I look at my journal and remember the blessings. It helps me to begin to look for my help instead of my hurt. That’s progress!
Prayer for the day: Thank you, God, for patiently waiting for us to learn to lean on you. Your grace is astounding and at times incomprehensible. Help us to each find ways to worry less and learn to practice faith in our everyday lives.
We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.