Today’s scripture: Proverbs 3:9-12 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Lynnette Pullen):
Discipline is a hard pill to swallow. From childhood to adult it is a constant part of our lives, and a rather unpleasant one at that. I think of discipline separate from punishment. I view discipline as way to correct or change unwanted behavior which can involve punishment. Interestingly enough, Merriam-Webster defines discipline as “training that corrects, molds, or perfects faculties of mental or moral character.”
As I had been growing in my walk with God, I was receiving more and more discipline. At first I was humble and open. However, after some time, I began to resent this constant correction. I knew I was not perfect but I didn’t think I was that bad! I would even sometimes compare myself to someone who I thought was significantly worse off. I began to resist the correction and that’s where my life really took a dive.
After that, I had a hard time communicating with God. My prayers were short and simple. I seemed to be dancing around the elephant in the room. I noticed that it seemed to affect every other area of my life too — job, home, and family. I felt so distant from God until finally I had an honest discussion. I told God that I was overwhelmed with uncovering fault after fault and that I didn’t like it because it was hurtful.
To be honest, I think the only thing it hurt was my pride! I felt as though I had been on my walk with God for awhile and had grown into some sense of maturity. OK, maybe not perfection but I thought I was doing pretty good. I attend church every week, read the bible, pray regularly, and I really try to do the right thing. So I was thinking “Am I that bad?”
Through some really tough lessons, I realized that I was being disciplined about pride. Ouch. I never really thought of myself as being prideful. I thought prideful people were arrogant, boastful tyrants. I never realized I was looking at one in the mirror every morning. What a painful yet freeing revelation.
Somehow, with learning that I was imperfect, I didn’t feel the need to try to be perfect. It allowed me to make a mistake and recover. It also allowed me to view myself in a more objective way, seeing the room for improvement and growing into it. It helped me to see that the imperfections in others did not define them, as they did not define me.
Prayer for the day: God, thank you for extending grace and exposing my imperfections so that I may learn from them. At times I have resented your correction, and I was wrong. Forgive me. Thank you for never leaving me and loving me just as I am. Help me to love as you love. Amen.
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