My Old Life vs. My New Life

Today’s scripture: Ephesians 4:17-24 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?

My thoughts (Ernest Disney-Britton):

As Christians, we’ve all heard the apostle Paul’s call in Ephesians 4:17-24, to “put off your old self” so that we can “put on the new self, created to be like God.” We all want that change, but it’s hard to let go of our “old selves.” We cling to the past until we go through our own “Road to Damascus” experience, like the apostle Paul, in which God shatters the bond we feel to our past so that he can bring us home — brand new.

In January 2008, this Ohio Buckeye married an Indiana Hoosier in Niagara Falls, Canada. We went to Canada because marriage equality was not yet the law of the land in the USA. We were married, but living and working in separate cities, and making the long commutes between Greg’s job in Indianapolis and my own job in Cincinnati. That spring, I began job hunting so I could move to Indianapolis to live with my new husband, Gregory Disney-Britton. It was then that I received, and ultimately accepted, a job offer in New York City with Freedom to Marry, Inc. Why did I accept a job in NYC when I wanted to make Indianapolis my home? There were two big reasons: I wanted to bring marriage equality to our home states, and I couldn’t say “no” to the six-figure salary they’d offered.

Living in New York City is not like living anywhere else, and most only get the chance to experience it in books and television. My year in that city of 8 million people was filled with bi-coastal plane travel, penthouse parties, fine dining, shopping on Fifth Avenue, cigarettes & martinis, and living the gay life that can only be found in New York City or San Francisco. Greg was with me for it during one week of every month — but, even during the times we were not together, we used our BlackBerry smartphones to create virtual memories of every experience. We got so good at it that today we often forget which memory we shared in person, and which was “Memorex.” We were in different cities attending the same movies on the same night, and enjoying the nightlife in the same ways. Our nightlife was decadent and free of constraints, but I still went to noon mass every day (Catholic service), and I never missed church on Sunday.

It was during those 365 days that Greg and I both lost the most important men in our lives: Greg’s grandfather passed away before Thanksgiving 2008, and my dad passed away on Mother’s Day of 2009. With their deaths, our own lives and our attitudes about how we lived also began to change. First Greg gave up on his efforts to secure a company transfer from Indianapolis to New York City. Then, in February of 2009, my father took ill in Cincinnati, and he began asking me to “come back home.” I visited him then in the hospital, and after he recovered I returned to New York City. It wasn’t until he died that May that I finally set a date for my return home.

In coming home that summer, I gave up my old self. Today, I avoid alcohol-centered settings; cigarettes are a thing of the past; and I no longer feel the strong draw to impure choices and those based on greed. Where I once protested against religious constraints on artistic freedom, today I only collect religious art. I’m still not a perfect creation (no, not by a long-shot), but I am happier than I’ve ever been. I even have my dream job, and it’s in Indianapolis! Without the pain of my Road to Damascus in New York City, I would still be living my old life. Today, I am brand new.

Thought for the day: Can you measure the difference between your old self and your new Christian self?

We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.