Love You and Let You Go

Today’s scripture: Luke 19:41-44 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?

My thoughts (Robert Ferguson):

Sometimes I tend to view the relationship between God and the Jews of the bible as a toxic sort of a relationship. Not to simplify the complicated history between God and God’s chosen people, but let’s be honest, that relationship was tense at its very best. Out of all the civilizations on earth, God chose the Jews as the beloved, and even pronounced that through them the Savior of the human race would come. That promise ignited the hearts of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

God provided a homeland for God’s people to live, wiped out their enemies, provided them a place to worship and even named a specific tribe to oversee the house of worship. But God did ask for one thing in return: for them to have a childlike trust. God asked them to believe God’s promise of a coming redemption from the worst enemies of all: sin, death, and the devil.

But you’ve probably read enough of the Old Testament to know how they responded to God’s care and providence. They no longer delighted in being God’s distinctive people. For them, it became routine. They allowed their hearts to grow hard, over and over, again and again. They took God for granted!

Now if that’s not a toxic relationship, I don’t know what is. I have to admit I have had a few of these types of relationships myself. Perhaps you have have too. Sometimes we want relationships to work out so bad that we extend second chances, forgiveness, and fresh starts over and over again. Not just in romantic situations but friendships, parent-child relationships, and perhaps even co-worker relationships. Who among us hasn’t found ourselves in a circumstance where we, beyond all reason, just want things to work out?

In our reading today, I see Jesus modeling for us (once again) how to handle a difficult situation. Jesus reveals to us here something very deep about his heart. On the one hand he expresses grief that Jerusalem rejected his peace proposal. He weeps and cries out, “O that you knew the terms of peace!” But in the same breath, Jesus bows before the sovereign decree of God in heaven: God has hidden these things from their eyes. The divine mind is not simple; it is complex.

With Jesus we get a glimpse into the heart of God. God is not willing that any perish, and does not delight in the death of the wicked. God is grieved at sin and destruction. But viewing reality from a larger, all-encompassing perspective, God deems it right sometimes to hide the terms of peace.

And so it is in our lives. Sometimes we have to accept that we’ve done all we can do. Perhaps we have extended the olive branch and set provisions for another’s success, but to no avail. It is then that, just as Jesus shows us today, we must weep for a moment, mourn the loss, and let that person go.

Ending or withdrawing from a relationship is not a perfect solution, especially if it involves a family member. In these situations we must understand there is no satisfying outcome. There is only the healthier path. It doesn’t mean you have stopped loving them. It just means you realize a relationship is not possible.

Letting go of people is never easy, but sometimes having them in our lives causes us more pain than good. And that goes for the other person as well. In those instances, take a deep breath, wish them well, and let them go without anger or recrimination.

Thought for the day: O that today you would take God’s terms of peace! I beseech you on behalf of Christ: Be reconciled to God!

We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.