Forgiveness is a Gift You Give Yourself

Today’s scripture: Luke 23:32-34 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?

My thoughts (Vivian Wyatt):

My husband, Chuck, was a philanderer … a womanizer … a man who loved women. It was during our time together that I realized that a relationship is a lot like a bank account. The nice things we do for one another, the times we were there for the other are deposits into the relationship; lying, cheating, not talking for days at a time and all of the negative things we do are withdrawals from the relationship. When my husband’s withdrawals outweighed his deposits, I left, and I left angry.

I tell you, just the mere mention of his name would make me feel like a cartoon character — you know the one: hair standing on end and smoke coming of her ears. I could barely get through a conversation with him without rage flowing through my body like hot lava.

One day I saw him at a relative’s house and he was smiling and laughing, having a grand ol’ time, and it dawned on me, that I was the one who was bound in anger and bitterness; he was enjoying life. I decided, then and there, that I would forgive him. I didn’t want to. I surely didn’t feel like it, but I decided that I had to! I didn’t want to grow to be an old, bitter, angry woman.

When I heard his name and anger would begin to rise in me, I would very deliberately say, “I forgive Chuck. I recognize that he did the best he could with what he had. And God forgives me all the time.” Every time I thought about him, or someone mentioned his name, I would say, “I forgive Chuck.” Sometimes I said it through gritted teeth, but I said it. This went on for months, until one day I recognized that I was talking about Chuck and I wasn’t angry. I did a check of my feelings and I realized that I had forgiven him.

I am reminded of a story: A former inmate of a Nazi concentration camp was visiting a friend who had shared the ordeal with him. “Have you forgiven the Nazis?” he asked his friend. “Yes.” his friend replied. “Well I haven’t. I’m still consumed with hatred for them,” the man declared. “In that case,” said his friend gently, “they still have you in prison.”

The story points out this truth: ultimately, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Bitterness and anger imprison you emotionally. Forgiveness sets you free.

Prayer for today: Gracious God, help me to model Jesus and to forgive those who have wronged me. Help me to release any anger and bitterness I have and walk in your grace and love. Amen

We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.