Productive Conflict

Today’s scripture: Galatians 5:15 & Ephesians 4:14-15 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?

My thoughts (Jeff Miner):

I hate conflict. I just want everybody to get along.

So you can imagine how tense it made me when I recently found myself in the middle of a congregational forum on racism in America after worship service at LifeJourney Church. In our diverse, multi-cultural congregation, you never know what somebody might say. So I sat there praying that no one would say anything insensitive.

Then it happened. After several people expressed their fears and concerns about racism, someone stood up and said her biggest concern was reverse racism. I almost melted in my chair because I knew that comment was bound to feel dismissive to my sisters and brothers of color. The idea that we white people experience anything like our friends of color is wildly inaccurate and insensitive.

So I braced myself for the fallout as the next person stood up to rebut. But instead of going off on the prior person, the next speaker firmly and calmly explained the difference between individual instances of prejudice (which anyone is capable of) and racism (which happens when many people in a culture share the same prejudice and have the power to systemically enforce that prejudice by denying jobs and other benefits).

It was the clearest explanation of racism I’ve ever heard, and I could see light bulbs going on for many people participating in the discussion. So the net result of this flash of tension in our congregational forum was progress. We were actually better off for daring to have a tense conversation, instead of pushing things under the rug.

What happened there is an excellent example of the balance advocated in today’s two key Scripture verses. Galatians 5:15 says, “If you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.” In other words, conflict must be handled with care. It can easily go off the rails and become destructive.

But it’s also important that we not overcorrect and become conflict avoiders. Ephesians 4:14-15 says, “We must no longer be children…, but speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into…Christ.” The key phrase here is “speaking the truth in love.” Note, it doesn’t say, “avoiding the truth in love.” Avoidance is not love. Love compels us to speak the truth, even when that creates tension. But we should speak the truth in a way that is so loving, it can actually be heard and lead to progress.

Westy Egmont says, “Conflict plus love equals growth.” There’s a lot of wisdom in that.

Thought for the day: What truth are you unwilling to speak because you are avoiding conflict? Avoidance stifles progress. Dare to speak the truth in love.

We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.