My thoughts (David Zier):
There are times in life where everything seems to be working against me. All I hear is how people are unhappy with me. I never seem to be able to do enough or everything could be done better. It’s as if everything I do is just one major screw up after another. And then when I have a day where I experience some partial seizures I am tired and dizzy, and cannot get comfortable. I just want to go hide in a cave and hibernate.
When the world seems to be against me, sometimes I need to take a time out, quiet myself, and immerse myself in God. Sometimes it is easy; read a scripture passage, give thanks, play a song, think of a blessing, and peace starts coming in my heart. Other times I feel like my soul is being devoured, and it is not easy getting out of that bad place — where is my peace? I can be my own worst enemy.
Have you ever heard of enneagram personality types? The Enneagram of Personality Types is a modern synthesis of a number of ancient wisdom traditions for determining personality attributes and types. There are nine types signified by numbers 1 to 9. I happen to be type 1, which is also referred to as the reformer. Enneagram type “1” is very good at beating self up. I am my own worst critic. Nothing I do is good enough, I can never get away from myself, and the critic continues yapping at me all day long. I don’t need any enemies — I can dig my own pit thank you.
Understanding this about myself is freeing; I am still able to praise God and sing praises, and live in God’s steadfast love as I allow my mind to settle back into God even with my persistent critic. Even when things seem to be piling up against me at my own doing, me being my own worst enemy, I fall back on what I know about myself and ask God for more insight. I rely on my spiritual practices to quiet myself in God, thank God and praise God, allow music to fill my soul, and see beauty that God has put into my life. I am able to catch myself being my own worst enemy.
Thought for the Day (Prayer): Spend quiet time with God and ask God to allow yourself to know and understand “you” better. How are you able to live in God’s steadfast love no matter what is going on around or within you? (Click here to see an overview of the 9 enneagram types — http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/descript.asp#.Uu7zL3lN3wI)
We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.