Today’s scripture: Isaiah 50:1-3 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Stephanie Morgan):
I will never forget when Lynnette Pullen Bradford preached a message and asked us to let go of something that had been holding us back. She asked us to write down whatever it was that we needed to let go of on a small piece of paper then fold it up and drop it off at the altar. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I was carrying something so heavy that I couldn’t muster up the strength to even walk to the altar with a tiny piece of paper. I held onto it for months. I didn’t discuss that piece of paper with a single soul until I was ready to let it go, not even my wife. That huge burden I had written down that was holding me back said….”Being angry at God for not rescuing me”.
I never realized how mad I was because I felt like God left me alone. I couldn’t quite understand why I endured years of sexual abuse as a child at the hands of many people. Why did I endure 17 years of an abusive marriage while crying out for help for God to fix things almost daily? Help never came. Then to top it all off, when I was finally able to escape a horrible marriage I ended up having my most prized possessions, my 3 children, ripped away from me in the process at the hands of a corrupt judicial system. I didn’t understand why I had to struggle through life feeling like God left me alone so many times. Even my family and friends (literally almost every last one) turned their back on me when they learned of my same-sex relationship. I was more alone than ever. I had lost almost everything and everyone that was always a part of my existence before.
Why God, why did you leave me alone like this? Some days I barely had the strength to go on with life. In my darkest moments, God would always give me a gentle reminder that “I am here with you,” but the pain was almost too much to bear at times. I have learned to draw strength from the one who will never leave me alone. I can’t give you answers as to why we all feel alone in life sometimes. One thing I do know is that during those times, deep within, we grow stronger while we are weathering the storms of life. I am living proof that even though I felt alone, God never left my side, or I wouldn’t have made it. Unfortunately, we all have to endure pain at the hands of other humans, and a lot of times it’s directly from those who are supposed to be closest to us or even protect us. God gave us all a free will and sometimes it means other people’s free will can cause us pain. God isn’t punishing us or leaving us alone. God is holding our hand as we walk through this sometimes ugly world.
We don’t give God enough credit sometimes, just as Israel didn’t give God enough credit in this passage. In some highlights of verses 1-3, God asks, where is the divorce certificate? This is as if God is asking for proof that such a divorce was done by God as if God left. “I’m right here people, I never left!!” “Is my hand shortened that it cannot redeem?” “Or have I no power to deliver?” “Am I not big enough or strong enough to save you?” God is big enough and strong enough though. In Isaiah 55:9 it says “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts”. We can’t always comprehend God or the whys of life, but we can be assured that God will never leave us alone.
Thought for the day: Don’t make assumptions that God is going to fail you just because humans are sure to let you down. God won’t ever divorce you!
We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.