Today’s scripture: Philippians 4:11-13 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Angie Best):
I don’t know where the Band-Aids are. Or the Bacitracin. I haven’t seen the toaster in more than a week. Maybe three. I’m moving, boxes are everywhere, and I’m planning a wedding that’s rapidly approaching. School starts next week, I still haven’t bought backpacks, and I have a newly out trans child trembling in his boots about starting middle school. And the new job I love suddenly got a whole lot more challenging.
Did I mention I was moving in two weeks? Half the time I don’t know which end is up. I feel scattered and disorganized, my spiritual life is haphazard, and my attempts at service feel scattershot, as though I’m not making a real difference anywhere. I’m discontented.
“It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got,” says Sheryl Crow. What I’ve got is a hot mess. And I’m not “content” about it. My tendency is to look for things or situations that will make me content – rather than putting forth the effort it takes to learn how to be content.
The first time I took a group of students snow skiing, several of the older teenagers didn’t want to learn. They just wanted to ski down the mountain like the people they saw on the slope. Skiing isn’t like that, and neither is becoming content. It takes a willingness and effort to learn anything. The deep-down, soul-satisfying contentment is no different. It too must be learned. That kind of contentment can only come from within. So while I am basing my happiness on whether my never-ending to do list is checked off, I’m missing the big picture.
Later in Philippians, Paul says this — “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19). Here is where we wait on God. This is where I need to surrender my timetable and my plans to him and give up the idea that my life has to be perfect to be good.
In the meantime, I will pack, one box at a time. And breathe. And rejoice, because there is plenty of good stuff, too. I’m in love with an amazing woman who, incredibly, loves me back. That challenging job? It brings me great satisfaction. That handsome, scared son of mine? He has an incredible journey ahead of him. Plus, Amazon sells backpacks, Bandaids and Bacitracin. Even toasters if it comes down to it.
All of my needs are supplied. I can choose to be content. As Wendell Barry wrote, “Be joyful though you have considered all the facts.”
Thought for the day: Think about it. How content am I? Do I allow God in all the places that will help me be content.
We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.