Today’s scripture: John 19:28-30 (NRSV) (The Message) (KJV) What might God be saying to me?
My thoughts (Lynnette Pullen):
As a child I was introduced to both Christianity and Islam in my family. However, the older I became the more my parents turned toward Islam for spiritual guidance. There is a lot that I respect and still practice from the teachings. For instance, I still don’t eat pork, I value modesty and practice a fast similar to Ramadan at times.
But, even as a child I remember thinking “There must be more.” I had no idea what this “more” was. I just thought that God was awfully bossy and seemed more concerned with keeping rules and laws than caring about me as a person. Eventually I began to re-examine Christianity as an adult, and after several years of prayer and searching, I finally took Jesus as my “personal savior.” I really had no idea what that phrase meant. I just knew that it literally meant that Jesus died for my sins.
Over the years I heard many sermons on the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. I understood things intellectually, but still felt like I was missing something. I realized and appreciated that without Christ I would be eternally separated from God by my own doing. Looking back, I now see that I didn’t quite get it at that point.
One day, I was at church listening to another sermon on the accounts of Jesus’ death. It was moving and sad, but honestly I had heard it before and begun to tune out a bit. I stared at my son doodling in the church bulletin and let my mind drift. I snapped back into reality and heard the pastor say “If it were just for you, Jesus still would have done it. He knew every sin you would commit before you even did and still wanted to die for you.” At that moment something in my heart changed. I felt like a spiritual veil was lifted off my eyes. I’m not sure why God picked that day, that sermon, or those words to give me understanding, but I’m so grateful.
I finally understood that it was amazing, unrelenting, supernatural love that I had been missing all this time. This was not simply a contract to be fulfilled or prophecy made true. God stepped down from the throne, transcended space, time, and reality as we know it to become human. In this human form Jesus suffered violent and brutal abuse and bore the ultimate punishment — death.
Try to picture this: Imagine that you have committed a crime. You have been called into court and the judge and jury find you guilty. The judge orders the maximum sentence — whipping and death by crucifixion. You are horrified, terrified, and begin pleading for your life. But the judge says “You are guilty and must serve your punishment,” slams the gavel and finalizes your sentence. You hang your head in defeat and await your fate. The jury cheers loudly, hungry for your demise. They laugh and taunt you. You are near hysterics as the guards begin to chain your hands and feet.
“Wait,” the judge says calmly. Everyone stops. He slowly rises and carefully takes of his robe, folding it and placing it on the chair. He walks down the steps and across the courtroom to where you are standing. The moment is so intense you can hear your heartbeat in your head, your hands tremble and knees begin to give. He walks up to you and whispers “I love you, you are free.” You embrace him and cry tears of joy as they unlock your chains. You fall down to kiss the judge’s feet and suddenly hear the unmistakable “clink” of the chains being fastened. You look up to see the judge’s hands chained. You cry “What? Wait! No!!”
But it is too late. You realize now that once your sentence was given it must be carried out. You watch helplessly as they whip and beat him for hours. He is mutilated beyond recognition from the abuse. Then they toss heavy logs across his raw back. You run to help but are slammed down by the guards. You watch in horror as they proceed with nailing him to the logs forming a cross. You watch as each agonizing moment goes by knowing that should be you. At the moment of death, he looks at you exhaustedly and says “I love you, paid in full” and closes his eyes in death.
Prayer for the day: Thank you, God, for loving me beyond comprehension. I have nothing to give that would equal the sacrifice that you have made for me. Please accept my lifetime of love, honor and devotion as a form of gratitude and praise to you. Please never again let me trivialize your sacrifice and death as just a prophecy fulfilled or a historic event. Let me always remember your love for me. Thank you for opening my eyes and allowing me to see the beauty and truth of you.
We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the suggestions on the How to Pray page.