Family Planning

Today’s scripture: Matthew 12:46-50 (ESV-text and audio) (KJV) (The Message) What might God be saying to me?

My thoughts (Penny Dean):

Birth families are forced upon us. We do not choose them, nor do they choose us. I did not choose to come from a long line of southern religious fanatics, for example. Nor am I the daughter my mother always wanted. But we do get to pick our friends and spouses. We can create a new family, so to speak.

Jesus, on the other hand, got to choose the family into which he was born. That’s one advantage of being one with God. But he chose an unwed teenage mother in an occupied desert land. His earthly father taught him to be a carpenter, whether he wanted to or not, and Jesus was an apparently dutiful Jewish son.

Until, that was, when he chose to be what his heavenly Father created him to be. With that choice, because it always was a choice, Jesus set his feet on a different path. One choice led to another: Jesus chose twelve disciples, who in turn, along with many others, chose to follow him. He chose what issues to address and which to leave alone. He chose where and when to speak. He even chose the audiences. All these choices led to the ultimate choice: to die or not. Jesus willingly chose the path that led him to the cross and his followers to reconciliation with God.

Nevertheless, Jesus did not abandon his earthly family as this passage may seem to suggest. On the contrary, he not only criticized those who did not take care of their parents (Matthew 15:19), but even as he was dying, he commended his mother into the care of his disciple John (John 19:25-27).

That, however, doesn’t mean Jesus had a perfect relationship with his family. I think in Luke 2:41-52 we can get an inkling of what is going on in the passage for today. Here is one of the few stories we have of Jesus after his birth and before his ministry began.

Joseph and Mary had taken him to the temple for the Passover. As they were returning home, they noticed twelve-year-old Jesus wasn’t with them. Three days later, they found him in the temple talking with the teachers. Mary asked Jesus why he had made them worry and come looking for him. He answered her questions with more questions: “Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” (NIV) Clearly, Jesus felt as though his parents didn’t understand him.

We see this also again in John 2:1-11. John tells the story of Jesus turning water into wine at a wedding in Cana. After the guests had consumed all the wine, Mary came to Jesus and said, “They have no more wine.” He replied, “Why do you involve me? My time has not yet come.” (NIV) Yet he turned water into very good wine. Who can’t identify with feeling as though your parents or other family members don’t understand you?

I often feel that way with my next-oldest brother. We have little in common except some genes, a sense of humor and a fondness for cars. I have felt estranged from him for years, but on a whim, I texted him and his wife about an interview I had for a job I really wanted. Much to my surprise, they responded with interest and support. I didn’t get the job, but I may have a new relationship with my brother. Maybe he and I have chosen to start over.

Every choice we make impacts others in ways seen and unseen. We are all interconnected and are responsible for each other. I realize that some of us, by chance or by choice, may no longer be members of our families of origin. But, as the bible constantly reminds us, we can always choose to start again.

Thought for the day: Is there an area in my life in which I could start over? What might that first step be?

We encourage you to include a time of prayer with this reading. If you need a place to get started, consider the guidelines on the How to Pray page.